the bread broken and the wine poured
up to the table i walk once again
still it feels as the first time
the wonder and the love that somehow
this feast before me is rightfully mine
but why when my feet are dirty and my eyes dry?
the wrong assumption of course
it is not my eyes that looked with love as they spat upon him
it is not my feet that were pierced through with heavy iron
so i do not claim anything of mine own as merit sufficient
if i did that would not be a rightful claim
only pride
instead i clutch a ticket stub that has stamped upon it
paid in full
by that divine one Jesus Christ
with whom one day I shall dine as we break bread
and he looks me in the eye
and we toast each other and each take a sip of wine
someday soon i pray but for now
i cling to his feet and sing once more
the song that is forever mine
he loves me yes i know
A Mock Severity Demonstrated
See how the storms howl outside? Yes of course I’ll be safe, but let me open the door for a second, just a second I promise! And let me stick my head out to feel the spray of the rain on my face and feel the raw wind in all its glory. Too often the safety and security of our modern life aids in our forgetting the fragility of our frames. We are used to being master of all we survey. Stand for a moment as the thunder rolls and you will not feel as if you are much of a master at all. Perhaps it is good to feel small now and then. I close the door once more. Only a little wet, see? Now I don’t need to take a shower for the water falling from the heavens was sufficient to wash me clean. No I won’t shake myself on the mat. Throw me a towel and I’ll dry off and then let’s turn the oven on as we prepare for dinner. I like the natural beauty of the outdoors but I also crave simple comforts like dry clothes and hot food. Electricity is pretty nice too.
Westering
she knows it won’t be long before again
the sun shall slip below
the horizon
but before that moment
a gasp of beauty
a slash of light
once more sings my heart this night
the glory of the stars most visible
when it is darkest after all
even as we peer up from the bottom of the well
do your eyes fill up as mine do?
someday we shall ascend the ladder too
According to Some
Hello friends! Happy Saturday!! I would promise I’d write a nice newsy post just now, but I really won’t be doing any such thing. It has been a most lovely full day here and I am now at the point where there are a few minutes for me to sit on the couch and rest and I think I desire some reading time (cue everyone’s shocked face). Tomorrow I will try and write. I think. But truly, today was beautiful. A nice walk down to coffeeshop and precious moments reading and meditating on the truths of God. Back home to Dani and then we were off for breakfast tacos! All the yummy tacos were devoured as is proper. Following that, errands and driving around city for us, or adventure times, as Dani and I like to say. Home once again, were we done? Of course not. A MKT walk was enjoyed in the fading evening sun and then one more grocery store errand before home again. Really this was not an efficient day. But does everything have to be about efficiency? Today was a beautiful day enjoying the small wonders that my God has granted me. I am ever so grateful and my heart is full.
Now? About to read some of the “Apostolic Fathers” and perhaps some Anne of Green Gables following. Chopin plays in the background. A candle flickers softly. Eventually dinner time shall be had. And Dani and I will look at each other and smile in most certain love.
Second Spring
Good morning friends! About to dive into the maelstrom of work and become reacquainted with all the projects that I had left behind (and hopefully discover that my unread emails are in the 3-digits and not 4-digits) but I can breathe deep now and thank my God for being with me no matter what storms befall me. Grateful for time this morning to sip on my coffee and read good true words and meditate on the God who died for me. I wish I had more time to chronicle all the doings in Florida these past days, but maybe later, we shall see. Ever so thankful to my God for all he has given to me. I sometimes don’t quite understand the mercies that have been shown me. I walk down that aisle with a bouquet of death, possibly not that attractive in my graveclothes. Yet I walk. Miraculously so. And then somehow my garments transfigured and my face shining, I approach my Lord. It is good to meditate on such thoughts as these. Each and every day presents its own challenges, its own trials and tribulations. Yet I live in the light of the glory that is being found in Christ. My heart strums in vibrant harmony with the song creation sings unceasing. Stars and seas lift up their voices and I cannot help but hum along.
Resurrection Day
Happy Sunday, friends. I have a few minutes as I sit and relax here at Laura and Caisson’s…an Easter banquet is being prepared and there is much work to do to prepare, but thought I’d grab a few moments (some of the only few I’ve had without anything else that must be done!) to write a few words on latest books. Of necessity, I do believe I will write fewer words than is my custom and may possibly not ramble as much as I usually do. Small victories. But why bother writing so many words when I can spend time with some of my most favourite people in the world? Now Caisson sits on the couch holding little Shiloh as she sleeps and Laura prepares a flour-less chocolate cake and Dani is resting in our room so…I suppose I will allow myself a moment or two to write.
22. The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde. This is a ridiculous and absurd romp. I had never read Fforde before but heard that this was a tale for the literary minded that don’t mind something a bit off the wall. And you know what? This one delivered. I found it absolutely hilarious. A bit irreverent at times and a bit more profane than I would have liked, but the humour was absolutely top notch. A lot of the jokes rely on a bit of knowledge of literature but in my mind, that made this book all the more superior. Mind you, this book is not for everyone. You may need to suspend your imagination a wee bit.
23. Grandpa’s Stolen Treasure by Lois Walfrid Johnson. Being back at Laura and Caisson’s means I get access to old childhood books once again. This was a quick breezy read, made all the more enjoyable by the memories summoned up as I read a book I probably haven’t opened in 20+ years. This one is probably not one of the stronger ones in the series. As Laura and I discussed, we enjoy the books that take place around the homestead and not in new cities. This one took place in Duluth which was interesting but…not quite as fun a setting as the farm and its environs. Still, a good tale well told and it is hard to find good children’s books so…would heartily recommend this to the younger crowd!
24. The Runaway Clown by Lois Walfrid Johnson. Book 8 of the Northwoods series, a fun story. Probably not the strongest of the series and the premise is stretching a bit much on the idea of Anders and Kate’s mystery solving skills, but you know what? Still worth a read. I particularly liked this one for the strong Christian themes and wisdom interspersed throughout. From Papa giving Kate dating/marriage advice (!! – also very solid and relevant even today!) to Kate standing up for her faith even when it sabotaged her friendship with her crush. Also, Kate sharing the gospel with her friend and praying with her!! Truly beautiful. This is one of those children’s books that is Christian but not weirdly so. It feels like a real family with a real faith loving a real God.
25. Mystery of the Missing Map by Louis Walfrid Johnson. Book 9 of the Northwoods series. A fun story with a few new characters thrown in. Probably not the best of the series, but I still found it enjoyable. It was odd reading this and having absolutely no memory at all of the plot (and continually being surprised by it!) yet little snippets here and there sparked my memory – “I remember this line!”. I’d forgotten whole characters yet I remembered reading certain turns of phrase. Funny how the memory works.
Through Peril Shall Ye Find Your Salvation
Just two more this night!
20. The Gospel According to Jesus by John MacArthur. Well been a while since I read this one! I have a long relationship with this book, having first read it I believe in either late high school or early college. Probably early college. And God mightily used it to work in my life and convict me of sin and show me what it meant to follow Jesus. So for that reason alone, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for this book, ever so grateful how God used it to draw me closer to him. I read it now and it hits a little different, surely. I am in a much different place and recognize it a bit more for the polemical work it is. It is a bit of an intra-camp discussion with MacArthur gently (and sometimes not so gently!) chiding the so called “free grace” movement and the attacks on what became known as “lordship salvation” with these attacks at time accusing MacArthur and his adherents of preaching another gospel, a gospel of works. MacArthur is very much pointed in this book, addressing one theologian in particular in his attacks on lordship salvation. We are a bit removed from this controversy now and even reading this book reminded me of how Christian history (and even evangelicalism) has very much moved on. Not to say that this book isn’t still needed though! Just be aware that this is a book written in a very particular period of American evangelicalism (even more specifically – American evangelical dispensationalism) and addresses a visible church that faced different issues and sins that it faces now.
Looking past all that, I still think this is a useful read for two reasons. Firstly, as a polemical work, it does demonstrate how it is useful and even necessary at times to confront others in the faith who may be leading others astray away from the true gospel. MacArthur is clear at the end that he is not fond of controversy and there are many more minor issues that he will not engage in debates because of the fact that they are issues far afield from the gospel of Jesus Christ. But MacArthur does feel that this “lordship salvation” issue directly bears on what it means to be a Christian and feels called to confront those who are giving ones false assurance of salvation. Secondly, this book is helpful to me even now as I consider my Christian faith and meditate on what the gospel is. What does it mean that Christ came to earth and called men to follow Him? What does it mean that Christ lived and died and rose again and that a message of death and rebirth has been proclaimed to all who would hear? What does it mean that even now Jesus knocks at the door and calls us to come to him that we may have rest for our souls? And what does the gospel lived out look like? What does it mean for one to be “saved”? Can we be saved to eternal life and our lives then proceed in this world as if nothing has really changed? This book was at times challenging but at times comforting as I considered Jesus. At the end of the day, I am counted as a child of God for nothing that I have done. I confess Christ and my life is reborn in dazzlingly glorious colour and nothing will ever be the same. I am saved to life eternal because of the righteousness of Christ. And in that joy and as I abide in Christ, I cannot help but walk this pilgrim way delighting in the law of God and seeking to be holy before my God. Oh the riches of God’s grace! All glory be to Christ.
21. The Man on the Middle Cross by Alistair Begg. A wonderful little gospel tract. This booklet seems to be doing the rounds this Easter season, with at least two churches that I know of using it in the lead-up to Resurrection Sunday. I grabbed one a few weeks back from the table at the back of church and just this morning read it through. It is short and a quick read and to one who has been a Christian for a while, there is nothing new. Still yet. It is wonderfully encouraging to consider the gospel anew and to read these three stories that Begg retells. He does a beautiful job of re-telling the stories of the Samaritan woman, the forgiven paralytic, and the thief on the cross. This is certainly a book aimed at one that does not know Christ, but one that is possibly (hopefully?) seeking to understand who this Jesus is. I wonder how a non-Christian would find this. I can certainly state that it encouraged me to read it this day. The last story brought tears to my eyes, as I considered the thief at the gates of heaven and pleading naught but the words of Jesus. What a joy it would be to hear those words from Jesus, that promise that I might be WITH HIM in paradise that day. Oh my heart melted considering such. I cannot wait for the day when I too walk through heaven’s gates. I don’t care for any golden streets or harps or such. I simply want to be with my Lord.
To Its Rising
Hello friends! A week winds to an end. I am tired. But oh I am happy. Soon rest shall be mine and all the reunions and all the smiles and hugs and I cannot wait. But for now, grateful for another week of work and that my God has given me the strength to stay the course and prosper. Now? A walk has been taken and though hot, it was so ever so lovely to walk with my Dani. Now showered and on the couch, think I will read a few words, but firstly…book review time? Maybe?? I am behind, after all. I shall be brief, even if the books are deserving of more words than my feeble pen has ink to give them.
19. The Shadow Things by Jennifer Freitag. A lovely little story chronicling a might-have-been in the Britain of long ago (shortly post-Roman occupation). I did treasure this one and was sad when it came to its all too soon conclusion. It’s a simple tale and some might accuse if of a lack of subtlety but I don’t think subtlety was in the author’s mind! I loved reading the account of a young man who hears the gospel of Jesus Christ and comes to faith in the God who he knows is real, even the God who rules over all the gods. The author is not at all shy about her characters boldly but simply proclaiming the truths of the Christian faith and working out what this reality would mean in a pagan community that knew only the gods of their fathers. This story is winsome and sweet but also there are some truly tragic and brutal moments, blood-soaked tragedy and moments that caused me to raise my hand to my mouth in fear. I wish this story was longer. There are times when the author skips ahead and doesn’t show the full journey and depth of growth of Indi as the tale progresses. And the end is almost too neat. Still though? This story is an example of one I wish there were more of in the world. We see the gospel of God proclaimed and the Holy Spirit working with power to transform the lives of men and women in beautiful splendor amidst the broken lives lived in this broken world. This book does not deny the hardships and tears that are part and parcel with the cross we take up as we follow Jesus. But instead, this book makes it most clear that this life we live now is indeed not the full hope to which we are called. We live in faithful obedience in the day to day, with humility and love pointing towards our Lord as we walk in pilgrimage, waiting for that day when the veil shall be pulled back and we shall behold the real. It shall be glorious.
Songs of Spring
Hello friends! Sunday evening here and it is still gloriously bright outside. But no, I am not writing this from outside myself, I regret to say. Dani and I did accomplish a most lovely walk soaking in the unseasonably warm sunlight and treading the well-worn Heights paths. It ended up at new ice cream shop whereupon some pistachio ice cream was much enjoyed (by Dani) and then our feet finally wandered on home. Now I feel a bit tired but the good kind of tired, the kind where your body is grumbling a bit but your soul is happy knowing the miles walked were worthwhile ones. Now you can picture evening here if you know me even a little bit. Tomato sauce bubbles gently on the stove. A candle is flickering on the table. A little classical music plays on the TV. It’s a random spring compilation at moment, but I think I may put on Beethoven’s violin concerto in a moment – discovered a new performance by Alena Baeva that I am rather looking forward to listening to. And yes, a book at the side. I thought about writing something more – poetry or ponderings on the powerfully rich and beautiful sermon this morning? Perhaps a poem later, I know not. As for the sermon, we meditated upon the death of Christ. Luke 23:26-43 and the wonder that is God going forth to die that we might live. The one man in all history that could have not died and yet he did not save himself. No, he did not. He died so that we might live. He died so even I might one day be with him in paradise. Oh my soul thrills at the thought. Jesus, how I long to be with you.
Yearning
A few book thoughts as this evening slowly darkens.
17. Exhalation by Ted Chiang. A collection of short stories that I enjoyed for the most part, yet left me a bit cold in the end. The stories here are mostly sci-fi or futuristic in concept and while I usually appreciated the author’s exploration of some interesting concepts, the writing and characters left something to be desired. Perhaps I just wasn’t in the right mood for some gritty and slightly unsettling looks into our future, I don’t know! This author attempted to extrapolate our current technology into the future and the effects such would have on humanity. The technological advances that we see even today – are they beneficial? Well. It depends. Anyway, these stories weren’t terrible. Also not great.
18. The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene. Wow, what a bracingly powerful piece of fiction. This book is atmospheric and vivid, poignantly human and oh so beautifully written. And yes, it is a bit claustrophobic at times, dark and depressing and not entirely an easy read. Yet I found myself enthralled with the tale Greene spins, the story of a priest on the run, a priest persecuted and cast out and still yet struggling to do the duty that he feels is his. There are layers to this book and I do not feel I’ve fully peeled them back. At first glance, this is a glimpse into an area of Mexico one hundred some years back when anti-Christian forces have risen to power and driven out the church by law and force of arms. I know little of this history and feel shamed that I have not heard of this chapter before.
But this is more than a dry history lesson. This is a story about people, people in all their glory and all their shame. There are some truly lovely passages in this one, especially the night the priest spends in prison. So many sentences from Greene’s pen made me pause in my reading and consider more carefully what I was reading. What is the nature of humanity? What is the nature of God? What does it mean to be a saint? What does it take to be right with God? Greene doesn’t exactly answer all these questions, but this book is not intended to be holy writ. Instead, we are simply asked to look and see and behold the faces of those humans around us who groan as verily as we do and who bear the very image of the divine. Who can save us from our sins? Will one stand in the gap and suffer that we might live? The priest attempts yet falls short in the end as of course he must. Greene doesn’t beautify the priest yet he does allow for a moment of hope, a glimpse of glory even despite the afflictions that surround. There are shades of heaven in this one. Faint, but there nonetheless. I would now meditate on Jesus, the one whose righteousness alone can bring us home to God.
Something Weird 